Tag : self-love

Loving Who They Are vs. Loving For What They Do For You

I am just one of your regular guys out there, but I have seen and experienced a number of relationships that have displayed the nature of major dynamic themes in relationship and what seems to work best. So, I want to share what I've observed about loving someone for who they are over loving someone for what they do for you. One is obviously going to be healthier, in my opinion, as one causes hurt/suffering and the other causes completeness, wholeness, and centered-ness in both individuals in the relationship. Loving For What They Do For You I would like to think that most people don’t actually want this kind of relationship. What ends up happening, though, from what I've experienced, is that we fall into a sweet song of the other. They play a nice tune to get us going or into believing they want the same things we want: to support each other, to be there for each other, and to be a loving co-op; and it seems to work for a while. What I've noticed, though, is that one or the other tends to behave the opposite of what they say. As in, they don’t practice what they preach. This love becomes very conditional in nature and often feels like a job review, for example, “Well, if you can’t do for me what I want you to do, you’re fired. I’ll find someone else.” You’re trapped, though, because you became emotionally invested, and thus we keep letting ourselves get manipulated, used, and possessed in this relationship, because we are afraid of losing that person we care about. That, and we don’t want to admit to ourselves that we messed up and take responsibility for the fact that we just gave that other person too much of our trust. Let me tell you a little secret though: you aren't alone. There are very intelligent people in this world who are fooled by manipulators. Loving others for what they do for you is not the basis for a healthy relationship. [...]

Taking The Log Out Of Your Eye And Destroying Inner Judgement

I have been very active in the past week (not particularly in writing), but in going out and enjoying nature. Yes... The picture above is me bursting through a tree, showing superman how its done. It has given me a lot of time to think about things and to look inwardly, to dig deep, and to find out what is really running me. And how we can be so critical of ourselves. That inner judgement leads us to want to judge others. However when we begin to catch ourselves in that thought loop and start to re-orchestrate our thought patterns to loving ourselves, something happens. For instance the simple mantra which Kamal uses on his in breaths, "I love myself." is a good healthy first step! Maybe why bible verses like this spring up from Matthew 7, 4-5: "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5"You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." That when we learn how to cleanse ourselves, judgement no longer becomes an operation we put out toward others as a by-product. They may not completely stop, but in my experience they are lessened in larger degrees. Let me share with you a wonderful story that Kamal Ravikant brought up in his book Live Your Truth about Gandhi, [...]

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

Thanks to my friend Delma, I came across a book that recently helped me pull myself out of a funk that had almost overtaken me the other day. This goes completely with my philosophy of sharing your truth with others because what helped you may help others. This book is a short but phenomenal read (I read it in one sitting). It comes down to Kamals journey of going from just breaking up with his girlfriend and losing a close friend to death to transforming himself into loving his life through self-love. [...]

One Minute Insight: February 21

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There is not a moment where the universe is not pulling for you. It’s a miracle that we are all able to collide with each other; to change each others lives. Sometimes in small ways, and sometimes in big ways (both good and bad). So that we may wake up and realized how connected we all [...]

You Don’t Get To Keep It

Today has been an amazing day of insight for me. Something that is always pleasant to rediscover is impermanence. Impermanence sounds like a big word but all it really means is that nothing will last. It all either dies or moves on in the transition of the seasons. I mean, even the transitioning of the [...]