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This seems to be a theme that plays a large role in the west style of relationship. We always seem to be trying to control our circumstance to have some kind of grounding. This kind of clinging causes much human suffering. Letting go of control is probably one of the most important things you can learn when relating to others.
Why is letting go important?
When we can't see that our ideas may not be whats actually going on, then we cling to that idea even at the expense of our our happiness. Letting go of our ideas of ourselves and others is important because it allows true openness and honesty to blossom during relating. Trying to pin a stagnant checklist/idea to someone you love (or to yourself) is not conducive to emotional well being.
As soon as we have an idea of someone else, we no longer see them for who they are.
And this then leads to mis-understanding because of our insistence to clinging to OUR idea that they "should or shouldn't" be a certain way. This is a selfish behavior which when seen through can be stopped through conscious response.
See how human suffering can sprout from just this need to hang on to our ideas? We not only shoot ourselves in the foot with this one, but we end up shooting the other in the foot as well, even though they are innocent!
What does letting go of control look like? [...]