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4 ODD Tips To Developing Emotional Intelligence

emotional resilience

credit via EmilyGrace Photography

I’m just like anyone else, trying my best to work on bettering who I am as a person. When it comes to emotional resilience, it can be a real struggle because there are a lot of things that tend to get in the way of dealing with our life events. What I’ve learned through my journey of emotional alchemy is that there are some key principles that can allow the process of the heart to open in ways that can bypass logic (most of the time it has to.) which allows us to fully integrate an experience, surrender, and let it go. Here are the things I’m going to talk about.

  • Dropping the idea that our thoughts are important.
  • Focusing more on emotion then on thought.
  • How to Incorporate this emotional alchemy into everyday life.
  • Meditation of the heart to emotional well being.

Dropping the idea that ideas are so important

This would seem counter intuitive because we base a lot of our decision on what we consider logic. And this is good as a tool of decision making, but when it comes to relationship there has to be a balance between logic and emotional well being. When we latch onto thoughts, we tend to take them so serious sometimes that they can cause really damage. Just remember that thoughts are energy, and they only have as much power as you give or believe in them.

By letting go of thoughts, because they are only one perspective of many perspectives allows the freedom from emotional instability. Now I’m not saying to try and drop all thought. Thought is a good tool, for solving many of lifes obstacles, but it has a limit. It is a good worker, but a poor master.

Focus more on emotion then the thought

This is where emotional alchemy because to do it’s magic. It’s one of my favorite parts of using myself as a guinea pig. What goes on when heavy emotions pass through me is that instead of focusing so much on the thought that seems to be causing the emotion, to instead focusing on the emotional state instead. When this focus is switched around and mindfulness is brought to fully experiencing the emotional energy, the heart begins to dissolve and transform that energy.

This isn’t easy at first because we are so used, and conditioned to focus so much on thought forms which then builds more momentum in our mind which increases the emotional instability. We aren’t looking to increase momentum of thought forms though, we are looking to fully integrate emotional changes to emotional well being. By being mindful of the emotion that is the undercurrent of the thought, the thought begins to take the back seat.

This takes a little getting used to (and may not be easy at first, but trust me, it works.)

How to incorporate this emotional alchemy in everyday life

Like I said, it may not be easy at first, but working at it is key. All that needs to be done is to see the underlying emotional states happening as a thought passes by. I do this when I feel particularly stressed (commonly due to a thought form which is showing fantasy like scenarios). Acknowledge the thought ¬†and accept that it is there and then just “watch” or what we sometimes refer to as putting the emotional state in the minds eye.

The more you do this, the better you will get at developing emotional intelligence. It’s kind of like driving a car or riding a bike. At first things to be so chaotic and it take a lot of focus to control it. But the more it’s worked or practiced, the more it becomes second hand and automatic. The best part is life becomes more emotional vivid and emotional instability tends to go down as well.

Meditation of the heart to emotional resilience

Aside from everyday mindfulness of the emotional states going on, you can take this to meditation. I would suggest just 5-10 minutes a day would even be good. Here is usually what I do when I am using emotional alchemy in meditation.

  • Focus on whatever you’re currently feeling at that moment.
  • Trace it from moment to moment as different thoughts pass over.
  • Use your breathing as an anchor and if thoughts carry you away?
  • Gently bring yourself back to the underlying emotion
  • Sit and watch the emotional be created (arise) and dissolve (fall) on it’s own just like the breath does.
  • You can do this with eyes open or closed.

My Book Emotional Alchemist

emotional alchemy book

If you like the article above, then you’re going to love my self-published book. It’s jam packed with stuff just like this, and includes a lot of other subjects that help toward emotional well being. Please support me and pick up a copy and support my emotional alchemy efforts!

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